10 Random Poker Quotes

• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• Nobody knows where the hobo goes when it snows.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "Why do you think the same five guys make it to the final table of the World Series of Poker EVERY YEAR? What, are they the luckiest guys in Las Vegas?" - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• This above all else: To thine own self be true. - William Shakespeare
• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."