10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "You can shear a sheep many times; you can skin it only once." -- Amarillo Slim
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• "No river, no fish."
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• "Never go broke in an unraised pot" -T.J. Cloutier
• I guess if luck wasn't involved, i'd win every tournament -Phil Helmuth
• The all-in play works everytime but once.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.