10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• The all-in play works everytime but once.
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• "No river, no fish."