10 Random Poker Quotes

• "What've you got, Layne?" "You BEAT." Final table banter between Layne Flack and Mike "The Mouth" Matusow. $ 6,000 No Limit Hold'em Final Day 2004 Ultimatebet.com Poker Classic Radisson Aruba Resort & Casino, Palm Beach
• "Poker is 100% skill, 50% luck" - Phil Hellmuth
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright