10 Random Poker Quotes

• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue.
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• "I could make a crazy call on you..." Sammy Farhah to Chris Moneymaker at the final table when Moneymaker went all in.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.