10 Random Poker Quotes

• this hand sucked me in like an eagle in a jet engine
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• "I guess if there weren't luck involved, I'd win every time." -Phil Hellmuth
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• Trying to find the odds (not percentage) for this hand. One person has JJ the other 1010. On the flop is J 10 10, what are the odds of this happening?
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."