10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• Don't look at when a player sucks out on you with a trash hand as a loss. Think of it as an investment that will be returned with interest.
• "See, in my world - the world of high-stakes gin and poker - we play for cold, hard cash. It's all business, pure and simple. Anyone who thinks cardplaying is a 'game' - I'll show you a loser. Money... M-O-N-E-Y. That's how you measure success. One dollar at a time. One chip at a time. That's how you keep score." Stu Unger
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• "Give me running 10's boy!!" Mike Laing - after CALLING 78K with 10-8 on a board of K22
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen