10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Hold em is to stud what chess is to checkers." -- Johnny Moss
• "I guess if there weren't luck involved, I'd win every time." -Phil Hellmuth
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Acey Deucy Never Leucy --Phil Hellmuth
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Ive always like the quote, "Who needs balls when you got the nuts!!!"
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!