10 Random Poker Quotes

• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Poker players and police officers have alot in common. Hours and hours of boredom with a few moments of sheer terror.
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• " The commonest mistake in history is underestimating your opponent; happens at the poker table all the time."
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'