10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Any two cards can lose... and they usually do.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• "Oh give me a break, Ace-eight! I guess some people like getting their money in as a 3-to-1 underdog." -Phil Hellmuth, at the 2004 WSOP
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• To win a bit of money, make your opponent think your hand is stronger than it is. To win a lot of money, make him think your hand is weaker than it is. - Josh Avery