10 Random Poker Quotes

• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• There is less luck involved than a bad player thinks there is, and there more luck involved than a good player will admit there is
• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.