10 Random Poker Quotes

• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "What've you got, Layne?" "You BEAT." Final table banter between Layne Flack and Mike "The Mouth" Matusow. $ 6,000 No Limit Hold'em Final Day 2004 Ultimatebet.com Poker Classic Radisson Aruba Resort & Casino, Palm Beach
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• Never educate a stupid poker player.