10 Random Poker Quotes

• There is less luck involved than a bad player thinks there is, and there more luck involved than a good player will admit there is
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• "I could make a crazy call on you..." Sammy Farhah to Chris Moneymaker at the final table when Moneymaker went all in.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• Acey Deucy Never Leucy --Phil Hellmuth