10 Random Poker Quotes

• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• "you either live by the river or die by the river" why do i always seem to die
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels
• Any two cards can lose... and they usually do.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Don't look at when a player sucks out on you with a trash hand as a loss. Think of it as an investment that will be returned with interest.