10 Random Poker Quotes

• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Overhead at a ring game during a tournament when people where discussing there bad beat knock outs etc "Ya I got knocked out of both tournies the same way....I got caught Bluffing"
• "In low limit hold em' deception plays a less significant role. Either someone is already looking at that hand or will call out of curiousity." ---Lee Jones