10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• There's only one concept to understand in poker: at the end walk out with more money than you walked in with.
• Those eggs smell delicious!
• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson
• they call it poker because the word "FUCK" was taken.
• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.