10 Random Poker Quotes

• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier
• what is a river if there is no river to draw to water
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• "You can shear a sheep many times; you can skin it only once." -- Amarillo Slim
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson