10 Random Poker Quotes

• Sometimes doing the right thing loses you money and the wrong thing gains you money. The trick is figuring the right time to do the wrong thing and the wrong time to do the right thing.
• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Poker players and police officers have alot in common. Hours and hours of boredom with a few moments of sheer terror.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• when you win its got to make a difference when you lose its got to hurt.