10 Random Poker Quotes

• Normally, I wouldn't have called you, but you've been running bad!
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm
• I don't want to be called a good loser. A good loser is still a loser. -Stu Unger
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.