10 Random Poker Quotes

• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "Percentage players die broke too, Burt." -Fast Eddie Felson "The Hustler"
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• Those eggs smell delicious!
• This above all else: To thine own self be true. - William Shakespeare
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers
• Any two cards can lose... and they usually do.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.