10 Random Poker Quotes

• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• what is a river if there is no river to draw to water
• Why not, when some because there are three.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• This above all else: To thine own self be true. - William Shakespeare
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• No Limit Hold'em - Hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror.
• "Never say 'Whoa' to a mud puddle" -- Anonymous $4-to-go NL A-5 Lowball Table, Cameo Club Palo Alto CA, 1977
• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris