10 Random Poker Quotes

• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.
• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• the perfect poker player deploys his masterful execution of logic and then litters it with chaotic sequences of lunacy.
• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• some call cheating immoral, but then again, it's immoral to let a sucker keep his money.